Lor’s Blog

Why is there this accepted idea that someone is the controller of the relationship, and that in order to be the one in control you must have the winning hand and use it to your advantage?

I have always had relationships where two people came together, enjoyed life, and grew apart when priorities changed.
No bad guy,
No good guy. Theres only you and me and we just disagree
(points if you know that song)

I am understanding that there is this universal game being played, where one person is percieved “better” in money or looks, and for that reason naturally gets to dictate how the relationship flies.

Alot of guys do the ratings crap, where a gal is rated a number for hotness. In other words, their going completely on looks.
Attraction has to be there,no doubt.
Honestly, do you think your future life partner wants to know they were at one time rated only a 7 ?
“Ive dated hotter, but baby your the one for me!”.
( I know, the kind of guy that rates has no intention of THAT information ever getting out)
The point Im making is that some never think they will wind up wanting to be with another person, but find themselves there none the less.

I have found women to be nothing like that, but equally in the game.
The idea they have is “theres no way he’s in it for me as a person, so what can I get out of this?  hmmm…”.
Right there, even though its fueled with esteem issues, its a part of the game just as well.

Is it possible to have a list if ideals and just date those who are similar?
Why fake agreement or lie when there are hundreds of people looking to find another?
Seriously, with the amount of people out there actively looking for someone to either hook-up with or marry, why bag the one who doesnt want what you want?
Is it out of fear there is a lack of willing participants?
The ignorance astounds me.

I am far from that girl who says men ought to want one person, be monogomous, and always pay.
I dont agree women are wrong to want to flit like a butterfly from one guy to another, dating and enjoying a fun time out.
What I do disagree with is pretending you are wanting one thing, and being okay with that dishonesty because you think you have it justified.

I cannot stress this enough-
Justifying being a jerk still makes you a jerk.

Why lower yourself because she/he doesnt want what you want?

Go to various dating sites.
You have people writing exactly what they are wanting without a care in the world-
“looking for a goodtime. no strings”
“looking for longterm, no one-nights”
“im a bad boy. if you like bad boys…”
“looking for a sugardaddy”

I am not implying all ads are truthful, but you see alot of the attitude “why not just ask for what I want”

Right On.

Right now there are some real happening sites out there for the interested.
Planning on telling that special someone you only think about her while your collecting numbers in your pocket?
Why not cut her loose and go to Plenty of Fish ? OKCupid ? EHarmoney ? Match ? Zone Date ?

I was asked once what the incentive was for being honest.

Other than maintaining your integrity, the person who gets what they want, and on their terms, is the most powerful man/woman on the planet .
Its easy to fake someone out. Doesnt take skill.
Get what you want and get it telling the truth and you’ll stand out from the riff-raff.