Lor’s Blog

Shut the TV off, and cut off all ties to media.

The addicted just shuddered.
The smart are snorting “impossible”.
The people like me are thinking this world would be a more interesting place.

Think of the influence that finding out what the popular thing to wear or do has over the younger.
Think of the insecure moms that are trying desperately to keep up with the latest list that “good moms” do.
Think of the millions of products out there guarenteed to make you happier,shinier,smarter, more appealing over all.

Good.Hope your head is full of visions.

Now imagine being in the country somewhere with no pc, no tv, no way of know what is going on this red-hot minute.
A few might think that relaxing, but Im willing to bet a body-part that anxiety would rise and withdrawal would set in. Hard.

Believe it or not, you wouldnt die.
You would evolve into someone more original.
How do I know this?
I have been lucky enough (though I did not believe it at the time) to have experienced several moves, rendering me among the clueless as a teen, and as a “new ager” as an adult.
Apparently adults find other adults who dont follow the average trends and religions to be new-agey.
I disagree, but its all good.
It certainly didnt place me in a click, and other adults waffled on my abilities as a parent.
The experience however left me much more sure of what I liked, what I wanted out of life, and who I was.

I write about this today because it has occured to me that I have fallen back into wondering where I fit in society, how I compare with others my age, and what is expected of me.
None of this used to matter, and I had more friends.

This feeling is enhanced when talking with other people wondering the same things, and often running the same races everyone else is running to keep up.
Have to have enough school, enough credits, enough friends, enough contacts , enough money, enough credit.

Cant figure out where my anxiety attacks are comming from.

After mulling it over, I have decided its to my advantage to retreat once or twice a month. Have a few days where nothing matters but what I think. Cant imagine a few days is enough, but maybe a full week of unplugging and not being so quick to plug back in.

Blogging about it might hippy-me-out , but I am feeling its as necessary as cutting out junk food every once in a while to detox.
Stop reading news.
No late night tv to sleep (which my extent is watching futurama and family guy, but even still).
I know Im going to get strange.
I know I am going to alienate myself the way poets do LOL
I may become fanatical (what? I am not yet!)
I may become trippy.
What I do know is that I will be genuine and have more integrity from knowing myself better.