Lor’s Blog

Do you know of anyone that would have your back nomatter what circumstances looked like?

Im talking about the kind of relationship so tight that your friend would back you up even if evidence were stacked against you.

Im talking tight, like if anyone breathed a sour word against you it was asking for a fight.

Tight, like if you pissed them off real good, they would still know that tomorow was a new day and that this too would pass?

I have experienced moments like this, but never more than a moment.
I remember when I was a teen, my girlfriend wanted to see the boyfriend she was told not to see, and when she came to visit me, asked him to meet her at my house and take her out.
I wasnt prepared …. I was furious.
Her mother would be comming to pick her up soon, and I alone would have to deal with her. My friend knew lying wasnt a gift I had.
I would screw this up.
I told her if she put me in this position , that we were done, but that I would say what she wanted me to say to her mom.

I kept my end of the deal, and I never spoke to her again.

She tried to reconcile our friendship, but I wanted invincible bonds.
At 16.
My loss, I forgave nothing.

Fast forward to my 30’s.

I had this girlfriend I worked with.
We made lots of money together, and when someone so much as rolled their eyes behind my back, she called them out infront of everyone …. OUT LOUD …. until they left or a fight ensued.

I never experienced anyone having my back to that degree before.

It was as if she knew exactly what kind of person I was, and all information to the contrary was considered BS until she consulted with me.

Of course that didnt last.

Oh I have experienced having those friends and being those friends, but nothing for either that lasts forever.

What that did for me however was set a standard for what I would look for the rest of my life to duplicate .

There is just something about knowing that there is someone out there that would stand up for you even if it wasnt necessary…
I dont care who you are, it feels good.
Those are superfriends.

I have dated guys in my younger days that “protected their property” to the extent of posturing and threatening.
appealing being property …. isnt it?

Obviously not the same thing.

I think the evolution of a friendship goes towards that naturally, but that we have this filter of fear of looking like an ass if we back someone that either is wrong or isnt worth it.

I think its natural to want to protect the love you find in this world, nomatter what guise it comes in.

I could get philosophical and say no one needs protecting, like attracts like, all is really well…. and I do believe that to a big extent.

Ask me how much I believe it when Im pulling my son away from a moving vehicle that comes an inch from running him over after going through a stop sign …
I was ready to tell that person they just “attracted” a psycho mom about to rip the face from their skull.

All of that is in the moment, and passes.
Just like when you want to be the friend that has your buddy’s back but you miss the opportunity.
Your not a bad friend, just not a superfriend.

I figure what really chisels a masterpiece from the marble is going through many many missed opportunities until we become what we wish to see in others.

Wasnt it Ghandi that said be the change you wish to see in the world?

Im thinking about this because Im presently disenchanted with a friendship I thought was pretty tight.
Maybe Im not the friend I thought I was and this is somehow deserved. Im open to that.

So the question is, do you accept the insecurity and instability of a relationship that isnt what you thought because its teaching you or “chiseling the marble” , or do you walk away out of self-preservation?