Yay.
Seems like a million years since my last post here.
I re-read some of my old posts and think “what the hell was that all about?”
and then I think “Damn im good.”
I’d read this if I werent writing it.
Again, missed you all and look forward to a juicy new post freshly-sliced off the top of my brain.
Mindfulness of Anger
Anger is an unpleasant feeling.
It is like a blazing flame that burns up our self-control and causes us to say and do things that we regret later.
When someone is angry, we can see clearly that he/she is abiding in hell.
Anger and hatred are the materials from which hell is made. A mind without anger is cool , fresh , and sane. The absence of anger is the basis of real happiness , the basis of love and compassion.
When our anger is placed under the lamp of mindfulness, it imediatly begins to lose some of its destructive nature.
We can say to ourselves, “breathing in, I know that anger is in me. Breathing out, I know that I am my anger”. If we follow our breathing closely while we identify and mindfully observe our anger, it can no longer monopolize our conciousness.
Awareness can be called upon to be a companion for our anger.
Our awareness of our anger does not suppress it or drive it out.
It just looks after it. This is a very important principle. Mindfulness is not a judge. It is more like an older sister looking after and comforting her younger sister in an affectionate and caring way. We can concentrate on our breathing in order to maintain this mindfulness and know ourselves fully.
When we are angry, we are not usually inclined to return to ourselves.
We want to think about the person who is making us angry, to think about his hateful aspects- his rudeness, dishonesty , cruely , maliciousness , and so on. The more we think about him, listen to him, or look at him, the more our anger flares. His dishonesty and hatefulness may be real, imaginary , or exaggerated, but in fact, the root of our problem is the anger itself, and we have to come back and look first of all inside ourselves. It is best if we do not listen or look at the person whom we consider to be the cause of our anger.
Like a fireman, we have to pour water on the blaze first and not waste time looking for the one who set the house on fire.
“Breathing in, I know that I am angry. Breathing out, I know that I must put all my energy into caring for my anger.”
So we avoid thinking about the other person, and we refrain from doing or saying anything as long as our anger persists. If we put all our mind into observing our anger, we will avoid doing any damage that we might regret later.
When we are angry, our anger is our very self. To suppress it or chase it away is to suppress or chase away our very self. When we are joyful, we are the joy. When we are angry, we are the anger. When anger is born in us, we can be aware that the anger is an energy in us, and we can accept that energy in order to transform it into another kind of energy. When we have a compost bin filled with organic material which is decomposing and smelly, we know that we can transform the waste into beautiful flowers. At first, we may see the compost and the flowers as opposite, but when we look deeply, we see that the flowers already exist in the compost, and the compost already exist in the flowers. It only takes a couple of weeks for a flower to decompose.
When a good organic gardener looks into her compost, she can see that, and she does not feel sad or disgusted. Instead, she values the rotting material and does not discriminate against it. It takes only a few months for compost to give birth to flowers. We need the insight and non-dual vision of the organic gardener with regard to our anger.
We need not be afraid of it or reject it. We know that the anger can be a kind of compost, and that it is within its power to give birth to something beautiful. We need anger in the way that the organic gardener needs compost. If we know how to accept our anger, we already have some peace and joy.
Gradually we can transform anger completely into peace, love, and understanding.
Thich Nhat Hanh- Peace is every step
Some people pluck thoughts from the mind of God and we call it inspired messages.
Often I will take various passages from various people ,all plucking from the mind of God.
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There is no possibility in any man that is not in every man; but if they proceed naturally, no two men will grow into the same thing, or be alike. Every man comes into the world with a predisposition to grow along certain lines, and growth is easier for him along those lines than in any other way. This is a wise provision, for it gives endless variety. It is as if a gardener should throw all his bulbs into one basket; to the superficial observer they would look alike, but growth reveals a tremendous difference. So of men and women; they are like the basket of bulbs. One may be a rose and add brightness and color to some dark corner of the world; one may be a lily and teach a lesson of love and purity to every eye that sees; one may be a climbing vine and hide the rugged outlines of some dark rock; one may be a great oak among whose boughs the birds shall nest and sing, and beneath whose shade the flocks shall rest at noon, but every one will be something worth while, something rare, something perfect.
The Science of Being Great - Wallace Wattles
Do you know of anyone that would have your back nomatter what circumstances looked like?
Im talking about the kind of relationship so tight that your friend would back you up even if evidence were stacked against you.
Im talking tight, like if anyone breathed a sour word against you it was asking for a fight.
Tight, like if you pissed them off real good, they would still know that tomorow was a new day and that this too would pass?
I have experienced moments like this, but never more than a moment.
I remember when I was a teen, my girlfriend wanted to see the boyfriend she was told not to see, and when she came to visit me, asked him to meet her at my house and take her out.
I wasnt prepared …. I was furious.
Her mother would be comming to pick her up soon, and I alone would have to deal with her. My friend knew lying wasnt a gift I had.
I would screw this up.
I told her if she put me in this position , that we were done, but that I would say what she wanted me to say to her mom.
I kept my end of the deal, and I never spoke to her again.
She tried to reconcile our friendship, but I wanted invincible bonds.
At 16.
My loss, I forgave nothing.
Fast forward to my 30’s.
I had this girlfriend I worked with.
We made lots of money together, and when someone so much as rolled their eyes behind my back, she called them out infront of everyone …. OUT LOUD …. until they left or a fight ensued.
I never experienced anyone having my back to that degree before.
It was as if she knew exactly what kind of person I was, and all information to the contrary was considered BS until she consulted with me.
Of course that didnt last.
Oh I have experienced having those friends and being those friends, but nothing for either that lasts forever.
What that did for me however was set a standard for what I would look for the rest of my life to duplicate .
There is just something about knowing that there is someone out there that would stand up for you even if it wasnt necessary…
I dont care who you are, it feels good.
Those are superfriends.
I have dated guys in my younger days that “protected their property” to the extent of posturing and threatening.
appealing being property …. isnt it?
Obviously not the same thing.
I think the evolution of a friendship goes towards that naturally, but that we have this filter of fear of looking like an ass if we back someone that either is wrong or isnt worth it.
I think its natural to want to protect the love you find in this world, nomatter what guise it comes in.
I could get philosophical and say no one needs protecting, like attracts like, all is really well…. and I do believe that to a big extent.
Ask me how much I believe it when Im pulling my son away from a moving vehicle that comes an inch from running him over after going through a stop sign …
I was ready to tell that person they just “attracted” a psycho mom about to rip the face from their skull.
All of that is in the moment, and passes.
Just like when you want to be the friend that has your buddy’s back but you miss the opportunity.
Your not a bad friend, just not a superfriend.
I figure what really chisels a masterpiece from the marble is going through many many missed opportunities until we become what we wish to see in others.
Wasnt it Ghandi that said be the change you wish to see in the world?
Im thinking about this because Im presently disenchanted with a friendship I thought was pretty tight.
Maybe Im not the friend I thought I was and this is somehow deserved. Im open to that.
So the question is, do you accept the insecurity and instability of a relationship that isnt what you thought because its teaching you or “chiseling the marble” , or do you walk away out of self-preservation?
